


The Dinner

by catalina8



Category: The Good Fight (TV)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-21
Updated: 2019-01-23
Packaged: 2019-08-26 21:07:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 6,007
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16688839
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/catalina8/pseuds/catalina8
Summary: In episode 9 of the first season of TGF, Adrian asks Diane out. We never saw if they did went to dinner, but what if they did that and what if they bumped into Kurt there.





	1. Chapter 1

He just walked in the crowded restaurant. He didn’t want to leave his house, he never really went out anymore, eating at restaurants, going out with friends, do what normal, sociable people do. He just didn’t feel like it since… since she was not there anymore. What was the point? But he had to meet with his accountant, a nice, Jewish, middle aged man, who’s company he really enjoyed lately.  
She popped into his mind again, in the first few seconds he didn’t understood why she had an image so vivid of her siting at the table in the corner, the table he was looking at. He saw her eyes in his mind, blue and serene like a sunny day, her smile, her mouth moving, while she told him probably a funny story. And then her eyes again, looking at him adoring, feeling so special that he saw all that love for him in them. And then he remembered they once had breakfast here, it was a Sunday morning, in the beginning of their relationship and she had nothing to eat at her home. He laughed at her, teased her a little, then grabbed her hand and she took him at this restaurant where she sometimes ate. He saw with his mind’s eyes the morning sun, playing in her blonde hair, looking like a halo. He didn’t knew why he never took him there again after that morning. They ate, they walked a little and then they went back to her apartment and made love all day. Those rare moments when time wasn’t rushing anywhere, when they could just be. She always just appeared in his mind like that, it was as if she was always there, the smallest things triggering memories of her, she was like an echo, that kept repeating inside of him, without stopping, he almost felt the need to say her name out loud…Diane, Diane, just to convince himself that she was real, that he didn’t hallucinated her completely. That he didn’t hallucinated their last night together. Two months had passed from that magical night that she allowed him back in her life, even if just for one night.  
Thinking of her and not paying attention at what happened around him, he bumped into this tall, fancy dressed, African American man, about his age.  
“Oh, I...I am sorry. I didn’t…”  
“It’s ok, no problem at all”, he said with a kind smile, that illuminated his whole face, he almost looked like a movie star, but he seemed like a nice guy. “Have a nice evening”, the man said, walking to his table, the same table that he envisioned Diane sitting at, just a few moments ago. It was placed in a private, intimate corner, shield from all the looks and the people passing by.  
For some reason he kept following this man with his eyes, until he sat on his chair, seeing him now from a semi profile.  
He went to his table, a smaller one, at the window, from where he could see the man. His accountant messaged him that he was going to be late, but for some reason, he didn’t pay attention to the details, it wasn’t that important so he didn’t really knew why he was late, nor did he cared. He absentmindedly looked at his watch then raised his eyes, looking at the same man, observing him doing the same. He waited for someone, probably a woman, other people lived real lives, not this remain of the life that he once had. He was not living anymore; he was on survival mode.  
And this uncertainty, it was bad before, when he was starting to think that he will never touch her, have her again and he was starting to slowly just give up, but in some ways it seemed harder now, after he had her. After he touched her and hold her, and smelled her, and slept by her side with his face buried in her hair and his arm wrapped protectively around her. After he felt her breath, after he felt her heart beating next to his, the need for her, the hunger made him realise all these feelings, all these little sensations, each one of them individually. And then that morning, the morning after the night. In the light of the day you can see things differently and he saw in her eyes the pain, he saw in her eyes that she no longer saw the man that she saw the day before, she saw the cheater again, he saw the man that broke her. He knew that with certainty, he knew that look, he had seen it before. And it hurt him so profoundly, because he knew then that for her was just one night. Maybe she physically needed him, maybe she missed making love to him… maybe she just wanted to spend one more night with him before letting go…he was in the dark and that was killing him slowly. He had no idea where they were, if that was just an one night thing, or something else. He waited a few days, then he called her but she didn’t pick up. He let an awkward message, not knowing exactly what to say to get the woman he loved back into his life. She didn’t called back. After a week he called again, but her voice sounded so cold, as if she was talking to a stranger and he felt his heart sink. And then he resigned. He told himself that maybe she needs more time, maybe she needs to think things through before taking the next step. He knew he hurt her like no one ever did, she had all the right in the world not to trust him or want him back in her life. But that night gave him hope, and that was really the saddest part. This hope was so painful, so overwhelming, he now had something to lose again. Since they broke up there wasn’t a single day that he would not hope, but this night changed the game.  
Lost in his thoughts he raised his eyes up and he felt his heart jumping from his chest. She saw her just passing by, unaware of his presence there. He passed him by, with her elegant and confident walk, a walk that he never saw before, he never met a woman who walked with such grace. She was dressed in a short black dress, that showed exactly how amazing her body still was, her blonde hair was arranged perfectly. She smiled at the waiter while she passed him and he could see from that short communication that they were familiar with each other. He knew so little about her life now. In this year apart, he often thought what she was doing, at work, at home, he was thinking of little things, like if she watered the plant from the kitchen window, because it was more sensible, if she called someone to fix the air conditioning that didn’t work anymore, it was as if with these little details he brought her in the concrete, made their marriage real, it was as if they still belonged to each other, it was as if he was just away from home for a few weeks. And then there were these nights, these long, sad, lonely nights. He just stared at the ceiling for long hours, wondering if she is in her bed, alone, like him, or if another arm holds her in the night. He was tortured by these thoughts every night, the more time passed, the more he thought that his fears could come true, that she will completely forget him and find a new love.  
And then he watched her going toward the corner table. She approached the man he bumped into earlier and she put her hands on his shoulders with such a familiarity. He was a little startled, but then he turned around, got up to his feet, a smile spreading on his face, the same charming smile he saw earlier, he said her name, her name coming from another man’s lips seemed deformed to him, then gave her a hug and a kiss on a cheek. He then pulled the chair for her and helped her sit. They looked both excited and a little shy, like this was a first date or something. Then he watched, while everything was disappearing around him, feeling only his blood rushing through his body and hearing its sound in his ears, how she coyly smiled at him, her most charming smile, while he said something he couldn’t hear to her and spread his hand over the table until he covered her own hand.  
His biggest fear came true right before his terrified eyes, she was on a date, she was dating again and he was…he didn’t even knew who or what he was anymore. So that night, the night that he played in his mind a thousand times, meant nothing to her, maybe she was saying goodbye with it, she was closing a chapter in her life.  
His eyes were locked on her face, studying all her little gestures, because he knew the meaning behind every single one. He remembered, if he ever forgot, how sensual and feminine she was, he was sure she could seduce a man even if she wore a bag. And then she saw her pushing a stray hair, with that head gesture that he loved so much. And when her head turned in his direction, the inevitable happened, their eyes locked.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I finally got the chance to finish the second chapter, at least one more will follow. Some of the elements of the story are linked with my other story "The Long Way Home", basically it happens in that universe. Hope you will enjoy it!

They were both blocked for a few seconds, not knowing what to do, it was almost like a spell. Kurt didn’t knew what he should do, if he should stay and pretend that everything is ok, or get up and leave. Whatever action he would choose it wouldn’t feel right. He was just blocked, looking at her, without being able to move his gaze.   
Diane also looked at him for a few seconds and suddenly she felt the warmth of the hand that covered her hand like the strangest feeling possible and she instantly removed her hand, like she was caught doing something that she shouldn’t. Even though they weren’t back together and she didn’t own him any explanation, especially after what he did, she couldn’t help but feeling out of place, she couldn’t help feeling that she was doing something wrong, she will probably always feel like this, always feel like she belongs to him. The man in front of her looked at her in a strange way, failing to understand what was going on and then he followed her line of vision.   
Kurt noticed the way she retracted her hand seeing that he is watching her. What did she wanted from him? He was so confused, like he was under water and couldn’t see clear enough.   
He suddenly stood up, looking desperately around the room, he just decided that the less harmful and painful thing to do was to leave. This situation was awkward for both of them and he was the one that was alone and didn’t have to explain to anyone why he was leaving.   
He finally found the waiter, he payed and asked him to tell the person who will ask for him that he had an emergency. He was doing all this, being fully aware that her eyes were on him, he was almost feeling her gaze. What the hell was he supposed to do in a situation like this? Go to their table, say hello and have a light chat about how fabulous the food was and wish this other man good luck at his date with his wife? She was still his wife. And although he knew that he didn’t had the right he couldn’t help but feel this jealousy, like a monster raising from the bottom of his insecurities and his guilt.   
He took his jacket as fast as he could, but in his rush he hit a glass that crashed on the floor, making everybody turn their heads. He looked at her again for a brief moment, but she just stood there, just looking at him, like all the other strangers in the restaurant did. He had to get out of there, he needed to breathe, he needed not to see her with another man, he needed not to see her looking at him like a stranger. He started to walk with big steps towards the exit, almost running, failing to see her standing and saying his name.   
\- Adrian, I am sorry, I have to go, Diane said and Adrian felt all the pain and worry that she could not hide .   
\- Diane, what’s happening…what’s going on…  
\- Adrian, I am sorry…  
\- Who was he?  
\- He, he is uhmm…my husband, she said feeling good calling him that way, but strange because this title wasn’t fit for what was between them anymore. I’ll tell you more another time, I am really sorry...   
\- It seems important, go, don’t worry about it, see you at work! Adrian said, understanding that she wouldn’t leave if it wasn’t something important for her.   
\- Thank you, she said quietly, liking this man even more for his kindness.   
She took her purse and left running after him, without another word. She felt her heart beating incredibly fast, she just wanted to talk to him, to tell him that it was nothing, that it wasn’t anything between her and Adrian, to put an end to the misery he was in, but in the same time she was angry with herself for feeling all this, because he really didn’t deserve it, there was nothing between them anymore. Well, there was, of course there was, she loved him still and she had no doubt that she always will, but he didn’t had any right, he was not the injured party here. Every day of her life, after she found out he cheated on her, she had to fight these conflictual feelings that were driving her insane.   
She got out of the restaurant, looked right, then left and saw him, just turning the corner. She yelled after him, calling his name and immediately starting running. She knew that it didn’t matter what she was thinking, the way she was rationalizing her feelings, the truth was that deep down she felt guilty. Maybe if she hadn’t slept with him just two months ago, she wouldn’t feel torn like this. But she did, she slept with him, she needed him so badly that she couldn’t think anymore, she just wanted him. To hell with all, she didn’t care in that moment about his betrayal, about being cautious, about her ego, she just needed to feel his skin on her skin, to feel his smell, his weight on her body, to feel him, she missed it so much in this past year that it physically hurt. She knew from the moment she saw him giving his speech that she wanted it and that the night will end up with them having sex. She felt the tears threatening to spill, but she didn’t want to cry, damn it. Because then she couldn’t talk to him and she just wanted to talk. She turned the corner and saw him stepping into his car. She called his name again, but he couldn’t hear her.   
Kurt looked through the windshield with glassy eyes, like he was in a state of trance. The image of his wife putting her hands on another man shoulders, smiling at him like that, another man’s hand covering hers, why the hell did he had to choose that restaurant? But then again, maybe it was better that he knew, so he would stop hoping. He started the engine and right before he put the car in movement he heard a noise coming from his car window. He raised his eyes to his left and saw her holding her hand on the window, saying his name. He looked into her eyes, then he looked down, stopped the engine and opened the doors for her to get in the car.   
-Diane, what…what are you doing here? Why..  
\- It’s nothing between me and Adrian. I needed you to know that.   
\- I didn’t…  
\- Oh, yes, Kurt, I know what you thought. And I didn’t want you to walk with the wrong impression.   
He looked down and when he talked his voice was raspier   
-And what impression was that?  
\- Come on, Kurt, don’t play games with me, her voice was starting to be irritated.   
\- I am playing games? he asked in a much calmer tone, but still it sounded like an accusation. What do you want me to say, Diane? What do you want me to do? What was the right way for me to react? You tell me, I am done guessing what is the right thing to do, he said resigned.   
\- I don’t know, but don’t pretend it was nothing.   
\- So it was and so what? Ok, I admit it, it broke my heart, the last two months I hoped every day that you would call, that maybe, just maybe you would give me another chance, to find out, oh and what a way to find out, I had tickets to the front seats, that you are dating someone else. Is that what you want me to admit? Ok, I admit it. So what? It changes anything?   
She watched him almost with her mouth opened, while he talked, she didn’t expect him to be so blunt, to simplify everything to the point that it was all her decision and there was no room of talking the subject over and over.   
Kurt continued resigned.   
\- So are you telling me it wasn’t a date? It seemed to me, from where I was standing that it was a first date or something like that  
\- I don’t know what it was, he interrupted him, covering her face with her hands. He is my new boss, Kurt, he asked me to dinner and that’s it. I don’t know anything more; I don’t know what his intensions were with this dinner.   
\- I don’t care about his intensions, Diane, I care about you, about what your intentions were.   
She turned and looked at him amazed again, this man who never really talked about his feelings, tonight was being so on point, so direct, he didn’t play any games. But she knew that about him, he never played games except one dangerous game, that broke her heart.   
\- I don’t know what my intensions were, when I accepted ok? He really helped me in the last few months, he was always there when I need it, with a good word or whatever I needed, he defended me, he basically saved me by giving me this job, when no one wanted to hire me.   
On Kurt’s face a sad smile appeared   
\- You didn’t accepted my help. I guess I am not good enough for…  
\- Oh, shut up, Kurt, she said, suddenly annoyed. Don’t pretend like you don’t know what is going on between us, don’t act like you are the victim, don’t make me feel like…she stopped.   
\- Like what? He asked, his voice trembling a little.   
\- Like I did something wrong, ok, because I didn’t. I don’t even know why I have to give you so many explanations.   
He turned to her and just looked at her for a few seconds.   
\- Why did you slept with me, Diane? He asked swallowing hard.   
She looked down and she closed her eyes.   
\- I don’t know, Kurt. Everything is so confusing…she couldn’t just tell him that she loves him, that she can never not love him. I wanted to, I don’t know. What do you want me to say?  
Then he closed his eyes and leaned his head against the headrest. When he talked again, he looked straight ahead.   
\- Listen Diane, don’t worry about me anymore, ok? You shouldn’t even had come after me, he said, his eyes shining, fighting to keep the tears that were starting to gather. I can’t do this anymore, just…just go to him. As much as I want you back, I can’t stand this uncertainty anymore. I know I made you keep your wedding ring and not get a divorce, think about it, but is ok, really. You can take the ring off, just be happy. Doesn’t matter that is not with me, I just want you to be happy, that’s all. For all the shit I did, you deserve to be happy, even if it is with another man.   
\- Kurt…she said, and her voice was almost a whisper. I don’t want to…  
\- Please, go… this is not healthy or good for any of us. That guy seems like a nice man, maybe he could be another chance to happiness. I fucked it up, ok and I feel like you will never let me in again, really let me in, or trust me again and I know I deserve it, so go…  
\- Kurt, but I don’t want…she said uncertain of what it would be the best thing to say in that moment, when he was so vulnerable. But he abruptly cut her off.   
\- Diane, please, get out. I just, I want to go home, I can’t anymore, he said turning to her, while a single tear welled up from the corner of his eye.   
She didn’t know how to react, she wanted to slap him and hug him in the same time. She decided that maybe is better to fulfill his wish.   
\- Ok Kurt, if this is what you want, if you want to completely close this door, then is fine with me, she said starting to feel the anger take over her.   
\- You think I want this? Diane, I’ve told you before, I know there is no excuse for what I did, but I’ve been waiting for you for more than a year now, waiting patiently for you to forgive me and give me another chance. What do you want me to do, tell me, what more can I do? I thought that the night we’ve spent together meant something for you and that would change things and now I see you with this man. What do you want me to do? I think you closed the door.   
\- No Kurt, you closed it, when you slept with your fucking student, she said suddenly opening her door, getting out and slamming the door forcefully. As soon as she started walking, a sob escaped her lips and she wiped the tears that were starting to fall with the back of her hand.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I finally got to write this next chapter. I am so sorry that it takes me so long to update, but i am really busy, like all the time. I figured that the only way Kurt will truly talk openly about what he really feels is making him drunk. So here you go, drunk Kurt!

Chapter 3

 

Over the sad Bach music that was playing pretty loud, she heard a loud noise coming from downstairs. She remained still for a few seconds, listening better, then she put a robe over her nightgown and she went to look over the window. And there he was, he was standing in front of her front door, knocking. She looked at the clock, it was 2 am, what the hell was he doing there? She didn’t expect him to come that late, he was not the kind of guy who did gestures…She couldn’t end her thought when she heard him scream her name. Oh, my God, was he crazy? What was wrong with him? She almost didn’t recognize him, didn’t recognize this behavior as Kurt’s, he was out of his mind or what? The knocking to the door became now louder and louder and he kept screaming her name.   
\- Diane, please, open up. We need to talk! Diane!   
She ran downstairs, she couldn’t let him scream at that hour, to wake up all her neighbors. She reached for the door, opened it, pulled him inside and closed it.   
\- What the hell do you think you’re doing? You know that I have neighbors, right?   
\- Diane… he hugged her strongly.   
Something was wrong in this picture, she was completely surprised by all this crazy behavior. When he pulled her close to him, she was hit by the strong whiskey smell that came from him. Oh, dear God, he was drunk. And wet. She pulled herself from him, and opened the lights to take a better look at him.   
\- Kurt, how did you get here? Oh my God, you are wasted. And wet. Why are you wet, it doesn’t rain?  
\- Oh, that..i don’t know, he said, his words coming out strangely and loud. I think I might have fallen after I got out of my car. I think! He said rising a finger.   
\- You idiot! You drove here by yourself? She said suddenly worried for his safety   
\- Of course I drove by myself, I don’t have a driver, he chuckled and raised his shoulder and shacked his head, in a gesture that was so his.   
\- Kurt, something could have happen to you! Don’t laugh about this, what you did is dangerous and you would have realized it too, if you were sober. How much did you drink anyway? She asked him, seeing the way he was wobbling. This was really scary, she never before seen him in this state, so intoxicated. I never seen you like this before.   
\- Pfff…oh, that’s because you weren’t there, so…you couldn’t, cause I was alone, he whispered the last word. Remember, I am alone for more than a year, so yeah, I’ve done it many times, you just weren’t there to see it. Well, if you would have been there, I wouldn’t have done it. I fucked it up and I will always be alone, his voice cracked on the last words.   
She looked at him feeling pain for his pain, she couldn’t help it. She still loved this man, even though her feelings were so all over the place lately. If things could have been the way they were, if she could still see him as she once did, respected him the way she did…Of course, him sleeping with another woman wasn’t a walk in the park and she never felt so jealous in her life, but the worst part of it was the way he lied to her, losing her trust in him, losing the image of the man she thought he was, the man she loved for his honesty and whatever will happen and no matter what he would do from now on, that man will forever be gone. She was sure that he suffered a lot through this. She couldn’t remember a night in which she didn’t cry or a night in which she didn’t thought about him, imagining him in his house, in his bed, alone, thinking of her, suffering. And she suffered even more because she couldn’t be the one to ease his pain. And then she resented him even more for what he did. It was a never ending vicious circle. Other times she imagined him with her, and she felt sick to her stomach. No, this wasn’t a walk in the park for either of them. This rupture, this disruption between them was the single, most tragic, transforming thing that happen to her, her whole world, her whole universe collapsed. And it wasn’t fair that she cared so much about him, about how he felt, it was hard enough to endure her pain, having to also endure his was just… unfair. She looked at him, with worried and conflicted eyes, not knowing what was the best thing to do. She couldn’t just throw him out on the streets in this state, at this hour, he could kill himself driving back. She could drive him back to his house or she could just let him sleep on the couch.   
\- Diane, I am sorry, I am sorry for everything, he said tearing up.   
\- I know, Kurt, believe it or not, you said that lots of times.   
\- I know, but I don’t know what else to say. And…and is not true, I don’t want you with this guy, I don’t want you with any guy, I went home and I was going crazy thinking about him touching you and…I just want you to be mine again. I want you to love me again, I want to turn back time to that fucking, stupid day…but see, the funny thing is I can’t. I am stuck here, I can’t live without you, I can’t go on without you and…and I don’t know what to do. Help me, please! Help me, Diane!   
\- Kurt…she said tormented by what he said, by his vulnerability in this state. She couldn’t throw him out. It’s ok, Kurt, come here, on the couch, she said trying to guide him there. You need to sleep!   
\- No, he said pulling his hand from hers. No, Diane, listen to me, he said grabbing her arms. He was talking faster now, as if his life depended on that, all of his words coming out as a strange mix of resignation and hope. Listen, don’t give up on me, just…don’t give up on me, I am begging you, please, he spoke, tears running down his face.   
Her eyes looked in his, trying to find an exit out of this, out of this mess, an exit that she could not find, it was like they were both trapped in a labyrinth, from which they could not found the exit, nor each other.   
There was nothing that she would have loved more than to just throw herself into his arms, forgetting everything, starting fresh, put all the pain behind…but the fact was that the pain was there, every single day of her life from that terrible moment, she had to live with this constant pain.   
\- Kurt, she said lowering her eyes, let’s talk tomorrow, ok? When your head will be clear. Ok? You need to sleep now! She said taking his hand in hers and pulling him towards the couch. But he didn’t move. Even drunk, he was much stronger than she was.   
\- Diane, just please, please tell me that you won’t go out with any man. I was a stupid man to say that. I don’t want to give up on us, I can’t, I have no options, really. I can’t just not feel what I feel. He stopped for one moment and looked deeply in her eyes. I will wait for you forever, if that’s what it takes. I love you, I love you so much!   
It was incredible to her to see how alcohol affected him, how he just let all of his guards down and just let himself be so vulnerable. And damn it, she loved it, this side of him, it was like a perfect prince who gave up on everything to get his princess, well except this prince was drunk. But the truth was he was no prince, and certainly was not perfect and she wasn’t any kind of princess either. This wasn’t a fairytale, was reality, and in this reality he had broken her heart into pieces. She had to say something to put him at ease, at least for tonight.   
\- Ok, Kurt, ok! Now come, you have to sleep.   
She dragged him in front of the couch but before helping him lay down, she remembered that his jacket and probably his shirt were soaking wet.   
\- Let me take your jacket off, you are wet, you can’t sleep like that. She pulled his jacket off of him then she started unbutton his shirt and also take that off. He was just staring at her, in the dim light.   
\- My God, you are beautiful! He said, his eyes glued to her face.   
\- Yeah, ok Kurt! I am fucking beautiful, I know! You said that many times.   
Her mind went racing again to what he did and why he did it if she was so beautiful, but she stopped, remembering that he was in no condition of really talking about that and anyway, they’ve discussed this so many times that she was so tired of it. But she could not control this feeling, she could not control the thought that formed in her head involuntarily every time he complimented her “And if I was that beautiful, why the fuck did you had to ruin our life by sleeping with her?”   
\- Lie down on the couch, so I can take your shoes off, she said, helping him and putting his feet in her lap, starting to untie his laces. He put his arm over his eyes, sobbing quietly.   
\- How the hell did we get here, Diane? Don’t answer, it’s a stupid question, I know how. But I can’t really explain to myself why the fuck did I did it. Ok, so I was angry at you that day, but this isn’t a justification. And we were apart for 2 months, but this isn’t either. Please, believe me when I say that I can’t find the answer in me. I just…I am an idiot, a stupid old idiot.   
\- Kurt, please….she said her voice trembling a little now. You weren’t alone in this and even though it hurts, after a while I came to realise that I have my part of blame in all this. I just…I can’t get over your betrayal, your lies. I thought of you as a great man and now everything I thought you were is in doubt, I feel like I don’t know who you are.  
\- I am a piece of shit, what great man, he said laughing sadly. Oh my God, i must be pathetic, i am just too drunk to realise it.   
\- Ok, let’s talk about this some other time, for example, when you are sober.   
\- Diane, please don’t date other men, please, he said quietly this time, almost a whisper. Don’t give up on us yet, I am an idiot, I shouldn’t have told you that, he said with closed eyes.   
\- Ok, Kurt, just go to sleep and maybe we will talk about this. She knew that he had no right to ask this, but she also knew that he was drunk and he just said things.  
Probably now he said the things he really felt, and a feel of warmth and love for this man, this man who was at one of his lowest moments, spread into her. He suddenly turned around, replacing his feet with his head in her lap. She hesitated, looking at him, not knowing what to do. He took one of her hands in his, his eyes were closed and he was almost asleep.   
\- I love you, Diane! I love you! He said before he drifted to sleep. She kept her other hand in the air, suspended, looking at him. She finally gave in her impulse and started to gently caress his forehead, then her fingers started to play with a stray of gray hair. She looked closely and she realized that in this past year his hair had become much grayer then before. Without any possibility of resisting the impulse she bent and kissed his forehead. To have him back in her arms again, like this, so defenseless, so wide open, so exposed, sleeping like an innocent baby in her arms, it was overwhelming and her tears started to fall, a few landing on his face but she quickly wiped them, being afraid that he would somehow feel them. Just in that moment he turned around and put his arms around her waist, clinging to her. She slowly put her head over his, not being able to stop the tears from falling. She was crying for her pain, she was crying for his pain, she was crying for all they were and they will never be again, she was crying because she did not know what to do with all the love she felt for him. And in the darkness of the room, knowing that he will not hear or remember she whispered:   
\- I love you, Kurt!


End file.
